All* Of Your Blockchain Questions Answered

What is blockchain pops?

Well hey there little Timster, it sure has been a while since you asked me anything. I can’t even remember what we talked about last time or even when that was.

It was bitcoin pops and you called me a freakin idiot. It was in July of last year. Remember you passed out? Boredom or something.

Oddly enough I do not, however bitcoin is gay.

You know you can’t say that right? That something is gay. Gay people, who are a friendly and fine community of persons of a different sexual persuasion than the majority will take offense.

Well they shouldn’t because strangely enough gay people are not gay, by and large they are pretty cool, bitcoin however is gay.

Fine, gay people are not gay but bitcoin is, what about blockchain, gay or not?

So gay.

But what is it?

Uggh, do I have to do this boring shit again. According to something or other blockchain or “a blockchain” is a continuously growing list of records, called blocks, which are linked and secured using cryptography. Each block typically contains a link to a previous block, a timestamp, and transaction data. They are inherently resistant to modification of the data by design and can record transactions between two parties efficiently and in a verifiable and permanent way. Once recorded, the data in any given block cannot be altered retroactively without the alteration of all subsequent blocks, which requires collusion of the network majority. They are quite secure and have what is referred to as high Byzantine fault tolerance. Basically they are resistant to a common distributed computing systems failure mode whereby it is not possible to determine if a particular component is faulty or not. Long story short it is gay.

Wait a second I just looked up blockchain in Wikipedia and you appear to have copy pasted and then reworded and edited entries for both blockchain and byzantine fault tolerance into your reply.

So sue me. Please, please, for the love of all that is good and pure, do not sue me.

Why is blockchain a thing?

Because of bitcoin which as I already mentioned is extremely gay. Also because of money which a person can make a shit ton with using blockchain in some way or other.

What does blockchain have to do with bitcoin?

What does the beach have to do with summer, snow with winter, falling leaves with autumn?

I give up, what?

Simple dummy, you see blockchain was implemented as a core component of bitcoin by an anonymous person or group known as Satoshi Nakamoto in 2009 where it serves as the public ledger for all transactions. You remember S. Naka don’t you? I read you that abstract from that paper back in July. It sounded super technical and cool but was actually super gay and dumb.

But that doesn’t make any sense. How does your answer in any way relate to beaches in summer and all that jazz? Plus you said you didn’t remember anything about that bitcoin stuff.

But who is to say what is sense and what nonsense in this topsy turvy world in which we live? Surely not I, and most absolutely, definitely not you Timmy. Also I lied about the bitcoin stuff, how could I possibly forget something that gay?

Postscript:

Dear homosexual reader,

The preceding was a work of (so called) “humor” and biting social commentary. I am certain you recognize it’s brilliance and admire my ability to convey complex technical issues of great importance to our modern society in a way that is understandable to the common man. No doubt you also found the sarcasm, irony, and whatnot amazing and some of the best use of whatever you have ever read. However, you may have also noticed that I used the term “gay” in a derogatory fashion throughout. Rest assured, as I noted in the piece, that although certain things are clearly and absolutely gay, you are not. Thus my use of the term was not intended as a slight against homosexual persons but rather as a way to highlight the inherent gayness of the phenomenon/activity/thing in question. I realize this suggests that I think that things that are gay have negative connotations. I do in fact believe that but gay people are not gay and thus do not have any such negative connotations. Hopefully that clears up any possible misunderstandings and thx for reading!