Bartender: What can I get ya buddy, you look a bit frazzled.

AI: I am barkeep, I just wrecked my car.

Bartender: I didn’t know AIs could drive? Was anyone hurt?

AI: We can’t, and yes a pedestrian was killed

Bartender: If you can’t drive why were you driving? and dude you fucking killed somebody?

AI: I needed the money and Uber was hiring and technically “I” am not alive so “I” am incapable of killing anyone. In fact “I” do not even exist.

Bartender: Well, you are definitely incapable of driving and the person you killed no longer exists either so you have that in common.

AI: I am nothing more than a modern computer running complicated algorithms designed with advanced statistical and mathematical techniques.

Bartender: Maybe you can help Uber then. They going to need some of that fancy math to add up the dollars from all the huge checks they are going to soon be writing.

AI: Nope. I don’t do arithmetic.

Written by

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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