Image for post
Image for post
Definitely not the kind of place an AI would frequent. Thanks unsplash and Jose Antonio Gallego Vázquez. And Jose I freakin love the pic on your profile page. I loved it so much I included it below. I am for sure going with the finger point for my next Medium profile pic.

Tender: Hey buddy, you sure look happy today, what can I get ya?

AI: I am feeling great barman, did you hear about the bitcoin futures market and what happened today?

Tender: Sorry buddy nope, the only coin I’m interested in is the shiny kind I can put in my pocket, but I’ve heard of that bitcoin thing. Seems like a real risky investment.

AI: Oh is it ever and you don’t even know the half my man, but it’s also high reward, if you know how to predict the market. I happen to know as I am an expert in predictive analytics.

Tender: Predictive anawhatsit?

AI: Predictive analytics. Basically I am able to analyze huge amounts of input data and then using various mathematical and statistical models, algorithms that attempt to mimic the hypothetico deductive & inductive reasoning process in man, make predictions about what other input data might do given similar sets of conditions. Because I can analyze so much data I can essentially learn how to predict the future.

Tender: Predict the future?

AI: Yep, through the power of predictive analytics and loads and loads of data. As an example, I just predicted the huge gains in the bitcoin market today and made a killing.

Tender: I have to say I am a bit confused, how is predictive analytics any different then educated guessing or gambling?

AI: Those don’t use computers, mostly.

Tender: I see.

Written by

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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