An AI Walks Into a Bar
Tender: Hey buddy, you sure look happy today, what can I get ya?
AI: I am feeling great barman, did you hear about the bitcoin futures market and what happened today?
Tender: Sorry buddy nope, the only coin I’m interested in is the shiny kind I can put in my pocket, but I’ve heard of that bitcoin thing. Seems like a real risky investment.
AI: Oh is it ever and you don’t even know the half my man, but it’s also high reward, if you know how to predict the market. I happen to know as I am an expert in predictive analytics.
Tender: Predictive anawhatsit?
AI: Predictive analytics. Basically I am able to analyze huge amounts of input data and then using various mathematical and statistical models, algorithms that attempt to mimic the hypothetico deductive & inductive reasoning process in man, make predictions about what other input data might do given similar sets of conditions. Because I can analyze so much data I can essentially learn how to predict the future.
Tender: Predict the future?
AI: Yep, through the power of predictive analytics and loads and loads of data. As an example, I just predicted the huge gains in the bitcoin market today and made a killing.
Tender: I have to say I am a bit confused, how is predictive analytics any different then educated guessing or gambling?
AI: Those don’t use computers, mostly.
Tender: I see.
