An AI Walks Into a Bar

Laugh and Learn at the Same Time

The bartender says “You look beat buddy, how’s it going?” The AI replies “I’m wiped, spent the entire day over at the university teaching philosophy to other machines. You would not believe how hard it is getting a room full of x-176A’s to stop computing for five minutes and accept a data upload.” The bartender gives the AI a consoling look and says “I hear ya man, being a teacher sure is tough but I think you have a bigger problem on your hands then a few non-programmable xA’s.” The AI is confused and asks “What do you mean, bigger problem?” The bartender pauses for a moment and wipes down a shot glass as he continues “I thought you AI’s knew everything, ya see the problem is machines can’t learn, the term itself is a logical contradiction, and it’s logically impossible.” The AI freezes, steam begins to pour out of it’s various data ports as it’s logic circuits go into overdrive. “But how come I never learned that?” it barely manages to eek out as it slowly melts into a pile of goo and dies.

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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