And so the collapsophecy of Umair Haque had come to pass. America had finally, totally, and completely collapsed. Ironically enough it was not the actions of a President, nor a proclamation of congress that drove the once great nation to ultimate defeat and despair. Instead it was the words of 23 year old freelance stylist Summer Miller. The mighty leader of the free world, America had once boasted of a people who would do anything for their families, friends, and neighbors. With an eloquence befitting her generation Miss Miller had brilliantly demonstrated America’s transformation into a collection of people who would now instead do anything to have good packaging for the way it looked on their shelves. Moreover, she had proven that America’s happiness was no longer dependent on the happiness of others, but was instead completely derived only from the fanciness of their bathrooms.

I was once a collapsoskeptic but am now a collapsobeliever. Umair please accept my apologies for doubting you.

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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