April 2017 Microbe of the Month© — Microbes in Space Part I — Gravity — Trivia Challenge — We Have a Winner!
Greetings fellow spacekateers and bacterialiens© from all the hardworking microbiologists, groupies, and assorted ne’er do wells that make up the big family we like to call Microbe of the Month®. It is already well into May and due to circumstances beyond our control we have yet to announce the winner of the April 2017 Trivia Challenge. You may recall (or if you were drunk that night you may not) that the question was about specific changes that have been shown to occur in bacteria exposed to microgravity for prolonged periods. I asked for only three however there is experimental evidence for a few more than that.
Before we announce the winner I wanted to let you know how depressed everyone here has been for the past two weeks. It turns out we only got one entry for this month’s trivia challenge. It’s OK though, we understand, everyone is busy, of course you have more important things to do then support a friend who sweats e coli and bleeds salmonella for you each and every hour of every day, of every month, of every year, from now through the end of time. Really, it’s no big deal, we have other friends, some of whom might even be real. Luckily we were very lonely as children so the emptiness we currently feel inside is less painful then it would be if it were not so familiar. The world is a cruel, dark place, I don’t know if we really have any reason to go on……
Come on man, snap out of it, did you even read the one answer that was submitted? Why should we, I’m sure it’s a standard answer, pretty good probably, technically correct but nothing to write home about. Besides, who cares, clearly our so called friends don’t, after all only one of them even bothered to submit an answer. Stop your bellyaching and have a look crybaby…….and didn’t you already pull this get really sad and depressed because nobody sent in any answers and then miraculously pull out of it thing in a previous installment of MOTM? Honestly I don’t remember but the more I think about it the more I think I might have. Well crud, at least I pull out of it. Indeed you do. Indeed you do. Who are you mystery italics man, who are you? I am but the direct reflection of your innermost self, slanted slightly to the right and out of focus and kind of small and wiggly looking like a native born italic
Wait, what, who were we talking to? What in tarnation? Whoa! Check out that answer. That is good, that is really very very good. In addition to being correct it has tons of facts, is well written, has decent grammar and vocabulary, is interesting, and has a little bit of humor thrown in and it has references!. So good in fact that perhaps it warrants a shot as guest author for a future installment of Microbe of the Month. Wow, our faith in our friends has been partially restored. The answer that saved the day is below. Please read and say thanks to [redacted], or should I say Sir, Darth, Lord, Esquire ;[redacted] the Great the 2nd. We here at Microbe of the Month truly appreciate your obvious dedication to the cause of nerdhood. To the rest of you we say come on people, snap out of it, wake up, meet me halfway at least. Like NPR we are a completely member supported organization. Without our members we can’t go on, so show us you appreciate the valuable service we provide, pick up that phone and dial 1–800-xxx-xxxx or you can donate at MOTMonth.org.edu.com.gov. For a donation of just $5 dollars a month you get the official MOTM tote bag©. Imagine how jealous your friends, families, and colleagues will be when they see you toting things around in our stylish tote bag with the MOTM logoTM on both (one) sides
In addition the honorary title of Ph.D. for the remainder of the month ole Doc [redacted] receives the official titles ascribed to him in the above paragraph. More importantly he gets a gift certificate to thinkgeek.com. The only website designed by geeks, used by geeks, and owned by geeks (I am being ironic I hope you realize, or is it sarcastic, it’s sort of a tough call on that one). Part II of our multi-part space series is on the way or perhaps we may switch gears and transition into a totally different topic area. Right now the sky is our oyster,the worlds the limit, and everythings comin up Milhouse.
Base in the space means peace see ya later!
Captain Commander General Lord King,