Ask an Easy Question

Technology Vs. Everybody Else

In today’s installment of Ask an Easy question: Technology vs. Everybody else we ask an easy question of technology, and then ask the same question to everybody else. That was easy.

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Can you please repeat the question…bleep…blorp

Today’s question:

Why is your product so terrible?

Technology: It is not really terrible it’s just that our customers are idiots. They need to understand that the product is really part of system. It’s the system that is malfunctioning, not the product. While errors and failures are certainly annoying, they are merely symptoms that some part of the system is malfunctioning. And since it’s technology, the various components can be fixed. Of course, since the majority of our customers are idiots, they won’t be able to fix it. Sucks to be them I guess.

Everybody else: We skimped on the budget in many areas. First our market research effort was really sub-standard so the VOC we were working off of was basically wrong in many key respects. Second, we did not hire nearly enough competent people to ensure the success of the product for the long term. Third, a number of the critical components needed in the manufacturing of the product could only be sourced in China, mostly due to cost constraints. This inevitably led to a decline in product quality across all important performance attributes. Finally, we got lazy and cut way too many corners from a QC perspective. Overall we simply dropped the ball big time on this one. Hopefully our customers will forgive us for this terrible lapse in judgement and give us another chance in the future.

Written by

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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