Bill Faloon is First Human to Achieve Immortality
God weeps when he realizes he will have to spend rest of eternity with an asshole billionaire whose last name rhymes with balloon
“Why oh why did I create man in my own image?” God reportedly cried out when he first learned of the amazing feat of human ingenuity and financial engineering. He went on “And money, who’s idea was that? I had hunch it would accumulate in the hands of the worst of them, but Bill Faloon, when I was handing out neurons he got shorted by at least a few billion. I truly did not think any of the really stupid ones would get that rich. Funny last name though, hah, Faloon, say it out loud like ten times in a row, it loses all meaning, hah, good stuff. Oh well, guess I better get my pad ready for Billy dumb dumb to come over, forever.” God then sighed deeply and disappeared.