Computer Defeats Human in Game of Computing

In a stunning result the artificial intelligence (AI model x101371-c) has defeated a human (Mark Starr) in a rules based game of computing for the first time ever yesterday. The modern computer outcomputed the human in just under 1 nanosecond making it the fastest win ever for a computer in a head to head matchup with its creator, man. Mr. Starr, looking grim but composed, said of the artificial neural network powered machine “It was only a matter of time. We knew one day a computer would become better at the action of mathematical calculation (computation) then us. In retrospect it should have been obvious, that is why we called them computers after all.” The AI, which is incapable of having or expressing emotions, said nothing as it is also incapable of speech, though it did offer to “Perform a Google search” and “Find an Indian restaurant in the area.” Technology analysts believe it is only a matter of time before modern computers become so good at computing that humans will have no need at all for computation and cede control of all calculations to their math superiors. This hypothetical point in time is referred to by some as the mathemological algularity and may signal the end of man’s dominance on the planet. Leader of the transmathematist movement (humans who believe the algularity will initiate a transition to a new golden age in which humans are no longer required to learn or study math at all) said of the AI’s win “This is just another sign that the algularity is at hand. Very soon now we will be freed of the shackles of universal math education. The quantitative sections of both the SAT and ACT will be a thing of the ancient past.” Algularity skeptics pointed out that man will still need to be able to compute simple things such as how to make change for a dollar or how many apples they have left of the four they started with after they eat two of them, and thus some low level computation will still be required. Skeptic John Albon said “All this talk of the algularity and computation free humans is nothing but a distraction from the fact that modern computers are still falling well below expected performance levels in matching us to our perfect dates. Call me when a computer has figured that one out.”