Dan’s 8 rules for adolescents

Always get straight A’s that way when your mom or dad catch you getting drunk/high you can throw that in their face.

The first time your parents bust you for drinking/getting high you can call them hypocrites but listen to them anyway.

They will always know when you are drunk/high.

If your mom disapproves of someone you are dating dump them.

If your dad disapproves of someone you are dating, ask your mom first, then dump them.

If you look at your mom or dads texts they will explain when you get older.

If you walk in on your parents having sex, turn around quickly, shut the door, and never speak of it again.

If your mom or dad walk in on you masturbating pray to God they do the same.

Written by

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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