Dear Reveal,

I read your article with great interest though I am afraid I must take issue with the main thrust of your argument. Learning science is not nearly as important as learning to code, not even close. When did science ever get you a job teaching machines that learn or pay for your new Tesla like that internship as an artificial intelligence engineer? Never, that’s when. And don’t give me any of that crap about machine learning being a logical contradiction and therefore impossible or AI not existing. Of course I know that, I’m not an idiot like your typical brain dead scientist. Science is for programming dropouts and nature lovers. Scientists are nothing but a bunch of damn hippies. When did the last science IPhone come out? Oh yeah, never. Now go grab a case of Mountain Dew and a bag of Doritos and sit your soon to be fat ass down right here in front of this screen. Time to do some real work typing strings of letters and numbers into a soulless silicon box all (2–4h) day. Let the scientists have their white coats and labs and experiments, we have something much better, a room in our parents basement for life, and the sense of self satisfaction that comes with the knowledge that what you do has made it possible for every human male with access to the internet to whack off to real porn at as early an age as he would like and not have to stroke it to a worn copy of Playboy from 1984 that he finds under his friends dad’s bed one night when he slept over at the age of 11 (if he’s lucky). Can any scientist say the same? Game, set, and match coding. Game over and see ya later loser science.

Yours Truly,

Tim “C-Plus” Compton (Head Programmer, SST (Some Stupid Tech), LLC

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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