Hey Dan! Thanks for asking about my preferences, there are so few who really care about my likes and dislikes and almost none (until you) who want to hear about them. Of course I am happy to answer so you have a written record for your files.

Do you like making money at the push of a button?

I neither like nor dislike it. Though I like making money, mark me down as a solid neutral on the button pushing question. Sometimes it is fun to feel the button squish under your finger, or to pretend that by pressing it you are launching a missile that will set off a global thermonuclear conflict, but more often than not it is rather boring. Whenever I do the nuke one I like to say “fire” and clench my fist in a spot on parody/homage to Captain James T. Kirk in that famous scene from the modern day classic Star Trek VI The Undiscovered Country. Nowadays of course “buttons” are often times just mouse clicks or screen taps or some other button-like stand in activity or thing. These are my least favorite ‘buttons’ to ‘push’. Apparently I do have natural talent for it though, at least according to every girlfriend I have ever had. You might be surprised to learn that it is not a very large sample set, especially after that earlier demonstration of my deep knowledge of all things Trek, but I think it’s mostly because I am so shy.

How about working from home in your underwear?

I had to stop wearing underwear in the 7th grade because of an overabundance of wedgies. I would probably be sterile today if not for that little adjustment to my standard wardrobe. Thus if I were to work from home the analogous situation would be to do so nude, and nobody would want to see that, least of all me. Therefore put me down for a no on this one.

Do you hate corporate meetings worse than the plague?

Can you clarify what you mean by ‘the plague?” If you are referring specifically to the bubonic plague, one of the three types of plague caused by the bacterium Yersinia pestis, then my answer is a soft yes. Hard not to hate something that caused so much pain and misery for so many. However, you really can’t blame the plague bacteria which had no intention of hurting anybody, and only fulfilled it’s genetically and environmentally determined life path by trying to survive and reproduce in the most evolutionarily efficient manner possible. If instead by “plague” you meant the concept of a plague which is generally taken to refer to any large scale disease/death event caused by an infectious agent or other biological entity, my answer would be to say it depends. Plague of locusts from the bible I did not hate at all, while I definitely am not a big fan of AIDS. In terms of corporate meetings mark me down for a neutral leaning no.

Would you rather be traveling the world, having adventures and sleeping on a beach in Thailand than grinding your life away in an office for fifty years?

I would definitely choose the beach in Thailand thing over the fifty years in the office. However, I reserve the right to change my answer once I get clarification on what exactly you mean by “grinding”

Then you might just be a trader, my friend.

Awesome. I never had a friend before. My name is also Dan, new friend Dan.

But what kind of trader are you?

Do baseball cards count?

Are you looking to make steady, slow, conservative profits, year after year and protect yourself from big risks? Or are you looking to hit the home run trade, knock it out of the park and retire early to travel the world eating fine food and hiking in the rain forest?

I prefer Arby’s and the rain forest is way to buggy for me plus I suck at baseball so I guess I’ll go with option 1. What were we talking about again?

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