I am so sorry Danner for your ordeal. I can empathize with the position you were put in. Opiate withdrawal is a bitch no matter your situation but opiate withdrawal in prison is a particularly nasty kind of hell. Outside of jail the addict in withdrawal might receive some sympathy. If he is lucky his family, or his rehab companions, will be there for him. Even though they can provide no real relief from the intense physical and mental suffering, at least they can provide some support or the illusion of support. In prison there is no sympathy. Any pain the prisoner experiences is deserved. Agony is the normal mode of life and so withdrawal is just another aspect of the normal suffering a typical prisoner should expect from the time of their incarceration until the day they are set free. Even your fellow prisoners who went through the same torture look down on you. They mock your weakness. Laugh at your pain. In truth they are right to do so. The pain of withdrawal is nothing compared to the pain of a prison yard beat down or prison shower rape. There is no comfort to be found anywhere. No friends or family to cry with. You sweat and sneeze and ache and sit on the toilet in your cell shitting your brains out while your fellow inmates mock and threaten you. The physical pain and withdrawal symptoms are horrendous enough but mentally things are even worse. There is no one to talk with about the things you are feeling. Expressing feelings is a fast track to a shiv in the kidneys or an unwanted dick in the butt in this place. Eventually the withdrawal symptoms recede. Yet you still exist in this awful hell. At times you think withdrawal was better. At least then you felt something. Now you just sit in your cell, feeling nothing, hoping time might speed up. Praying that the day of your release might be tomorrow, or the next day.

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Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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