Here’s How You Can To, But Probably Don’t Want To…..

Daniel DeMarco

Nov 2, 2019·5 min read

For me, the jury is in. I think the new Medium Partner Plan is almost identical as the old, just different metrics. I’ll make almost as little money I did under the rein of Queen Claptopolis III. Just like Pink Floyd sang in the 1973 hit Money — Money, get away, Get a good job with good pay and you’re okay
Money, it’s a gas, Grab that cash with both hands and make a stash.

I don’t think there’s a big need to worry. Looks like the numbers will be about the same no matter how they swing the payment stick. They swung for the fences and missed before, they whiffed again for strike three this time, and you are out. Out of money.

I give these numbers, not to whine, but to make a point about your craft and work process. The way we’re recognized for our work is not always aligned with the level our readers appreciate the work. Sometimes however they are. For instance in my case it is clear that neither my reader(s) nor the fine people at the editorial staff of Medium appreciate my work.

I hope the rest of you did better then I did under the new system. Hell, I hope you did better then me under the old system. No matter the system you have got to do better then me. Otherwise you must really suck. I mean you must blow big time. To be as unrecognized both critically and financially as me requires shittiness of a level that may be well ‘nigh impossible to achieve. I’m sure there will be tweaks in the process as the data unfold.

That said, if you want to do as poorly as me with your own Medium stories, I’ve got a few tips you can use that might help.

Before we get into my strategy for your future Medium enslavement, let’s chat about something…

The writing between those who do well and those who don’t, isn’t that much different. It all pretty much sucks. I’m reading a book about randomness and probability. They talk about Stephen King and his failure to sell the same number of books writing as Richard Bachman. His skill alone didn’t sell books. He made a brand name for himself. The Stephen King name sold books. Richard Bachman was a nobody — no matter it was the same guy holding the pen. Now I’m no Stephen King, and I’m no Richard Bachman. I am actually nobody. I’ve got no brand name and no talent. Thus the $4.90 in four days thing. Keep reading to find out how you can be a talent less nobody who brings in nearly 15 cents an hour too.

So, part of the process of earning more is becoming a nobody.

Let me help you become a nobody too..

I don’t write things that people want to read

Instead I write things that nobody notices and if they do read them they are instantly forgettable

Here’s why it doesn’t matter

How to put rocks in your income socks on Medium

Here’s my plan for failing on Medium, no matter the payment plan:

You need to become a nobody — your own island. An island that nobody ever visits

We build the island one shovel of shit at a time. The shit is your content. Not your content, but actually shit. The island is your toilet

The more you serve your niche the more poops you add to your island.

Originally, it’s an island for just your feet. Later, there’s room for a couple guests and a dog. Eventually, you’ve got yourself an entire ecosystem, a very smelly, gross, disgusting, ecosystem.

Write and publish every day if you want to really suck it on Medium.

There are 30,000 other writers competing for islands here. That story you wrote a week ago isn’t going to cut it. We want more. We want it today. We’ll want more again tomorrow. We always want more shit, always. Keep shoveling the shit.

Serve your niche from every angle you can.

The deeper you serve your niche the more-fortified the beaches of your island. There’s no bridge. No train. No highway. If a reader wants a certain kind of content, you just be the one to deliver it. She drops to your island, from the sky. You keep writing. She never leaves. On second thought, she is probably going to want to leave fairly quickly on account of all that disgusting shit.

We get paid by the reads.

This means we can’t run out of stuff for our tribe to read — ever. The more you publish, the bigger your island. The bigger your name. The bigger your pile of shit.

No more somebody problems.

The monthly royalty is just the beginning, of money you will not be making…

All this talk about making almost no money in Medium is fun and exciting. You can make jack squat here and quite a few authors make full-time income. They can all eat me.

But there’s another wizard behind the curtain. And his name is Captain Suckington III.

This time the wizard is you. You get to pull the levers and speak into the microphone, making the smoke come out and the lights blink.

If you want to build a sustainable publishing business, you need an automated email series to do the selling and heavy-lifting for you. Or, if that seems to hard and complicated just say fuck it and don’t bother.

You’ll have more time to suck at writing and you don’t have to spend so much time doing all that dirty, sales work to move your books. You also suck at sales by the way.

We’re waiting for you. To suck. Like me.