I found it in the box of her things I put together in anticipation of having a memorial service for her one day. I made the mistake of opening it this week and I still have not recovered. The one year anniversary of her death is coming up very fast, too fast, at the very end of next week in fact. I am not ready for it. I know she would very much like you to have some of these things of hers. I also believe she would like you to have some of her ashes. I hope you don’t think that is too morbid. I spread the bulk of them at gulf islands at the beach where we were married in accordance with her wishes. It was raining and windy and miserable and it brought me no relief. Anyway I saved a portion to distribute among those that loved her. Meagan will be getting some, Jessica got some, and I want you to have some. And it sucks so bad to think that those are the only people I know who would honor her in that way. There are others out there and I intend to find them. If you could please email me or text me your address I will prepare a package to send to you. Have you looked at the series I am working on here in medium dedicated to her?. Please do when you get a chance. It sucks right now. It is too much about me. I want it to be about her but I have just been hurting so badly and its hard. With our wedding anniversary in April and the anniversary of her death now it May this spring has been awful in just about every way. If you email me your cell phone # I can text you a link.. I got your email from meagan and have been meaning to write but have just felt too guilty. I think that you hate me. If you do know that it is a club with many members including its founding member, me.

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Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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