I totally get this and I agree. What bothers me is the entire subtext of the argument which implies that sexual feelings (getting turned on as the author puts it) of any kind are wrong in and of themselves. That they are a bad thing no matter the source. I think it is without question the source clearly lies in the desirer not the desired but the desirer should not be made to feel ashamed for their feelings. Not to excuse but perhaps men would be less quick to lay the responsibility for their feelings on another if they were not shamed for having them. This is a subtle piece of shaming no doubt but I certainly felt it and I have little doubt other men would too. Better to recognize that desire is a natural emotional state and that it must be managed like any other. The worst way to manage ones emotions is to blame them on other people or outside forces beyond our control. If we are ashamed of how we feel we are much more quick to try this blame shifting because we feel guilty about how we feel and dont want it to be our own “fault.” Accepting ones feelings as natural, normal, healthy even makes it much more likely we will react to them in a healthy way.

It is a good point and one that needs to be made but there has to be a better way then the one chosen by Miss Lindsay in the piece you quote.

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store