I’m not so sure we are on different pages. A better analogy might be we are reading the same page but chose to interpret and emphasize the same words in different ways. I bring no judgement as to the correctness or value of either approach. I only expressed my viewpoint in response to a genuinely funny piece you wrote. The reason I felt compelled to respond was simple. Clarity.

I admit feeling a brief flash of anger when I finally stopped chuckling and actually thought deeply about your words. I have been accused by many women in my life of the exact thing your post describes with such humor. Told that I act like “such a typical guy.” “Why can’t you show me you really care?” “I think so much about our relationship and what it means but when I ask for your thoughts all I get is a blank stare. Obviously you care much less about us than I do.” Of course those words are never said out loud but I see them in her eyes as they move through her mind. Those thoughts are usually wrong and they scare me. How can she think that about me? Of course I care deeply. Plus I truly respect and love this person. Maybe she is right. Maybe I don’t care enough. Why can’t I ever communicate that in a way she will understand? It is so obvious. All of these things and others like them occur to me as she sits there waiting for a response. In the end I crumble. I just don’t have an answer. What am I thinking? And so I respond. Duh is what comes out.

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Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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