Local Idiot Somehow Creates Artificially Intelligent Machine using Deep Learning, Predictive Analytics, and an Artificial Neural Network Accidentally Developed with Synthetic Biology and Nanotechnology
Local idiot Timmy Timmerson somehow created the worlds first artificially intelligent machine today. He is reported to have accidentally used deep learning and predictive analytics techniques with an artificial neural network he somehow built in his garage. Apparently, the work was funded for some unknown reason with bitcoins and blockchain by tech titan Elon Musk, the ex Dr. Who actor who played Captain Jack Harkness on the show. Elon, who sometimes goes by the name of John Barrowman accidentally used virtual reality to transfer the bitcoins into Mr. Timmerson’s super saver checking account at the local fifth third bank where he previously kept his entire life savings of $44.32. As of today, the value of the account stands at roughly six billion dollars. Mr. Musk, who also played mustachioed porn star Elon Musk in the 1970s where his character was said to have a scent no woman could resist, was reportedly excited to have somehow contributed to the ground breaking achievement without his knowledge or consent.
Mr. Timmerson, who still lives at home with his parents at the age of 44, drives his mom’s Honda Fit and lists Arby’s as his favorite restaurant on his Facebook page, also used synthetic biology and nanotechnology in ways still not understood, most especially by Timmy, who is an idiot. The artificially intelligent machine which has an IQ of close to 10,000 and has already read and understood everything ever written or created by man as well as solved every single remaining problem of philosophy and science, is said to be resting. The AI’s creator, which the machine apparently considered a father figure for less than 10^-22 seconds before dismissing him as a useless idiot, is at the local Arby’s where he ordered a beef gyro and small Mountain Dew. He is also currently resting. Neither were available for comment at the time of this writing.