My Head Explodes as I Dive Deep Down the Rabbit Hole with Exploding Head Syndrome Conspiracy Theories

In my last writing on this topic I described exploding head syndrome and myself and my mother’s recent experiences with the strange and unexplained phenomenon. I encourage you to read or revisit that post if you have not already as it contains a good bit of background information, some of which is required to understand what comes next. I have provided the link below for easy (re)visiting.

It turns out that there are several quite plausible and even likely medical explanations that are supported by at least some limited evidence. The evidence is far from rock solid however as the studies have been small in number, very limited in sample size, and were less then optimal methodologically (e.g. neural imaging was used in many).

As you might guess the combination of strange symptoms, seemingly random patient base, and lack of medical diagnosis combined with a name like exploding head syndrome is a recipe for some serious conspiracy mongering. All purport to explain its’ cause and more importantly why certain particular individuals have or are currently experiencing it, while the vast majority of persons on earth are not currently or have never. I am going to tackle the two most popular starting with the most widely believed and plausible. I think this should be obvious but my basis for plausibility (and this general principle would be true for how I would rank plausibility of any idea or sets of ideas) is obviously biased by my scientific background and worldview so I rated more highly those theories which at least attempted to ground themselves in some actual, legitimate science or at least did not totally violate any scientific laws or principles. In contrast those that favored supernatural forces or made use of not possible (according to our modern understanding of physics and cosmology) forces, or non-existent or totally impractical technologies rated lowest. In the middle lie the alien intervention theories, the abductions, visits, late night alien sex romps, etc. While the existence of intelligent aliens is certainly plausible and in my mind even likely there is currently not one iota of evidence to suggest it and even if they did exist the chances of them finding, then taking an interest in, then deciding to visit and intervene in our lives seems exceedingly small. They got the middle tier. In the end I only had the patience to tackle the top two so here they are.

1. HAARP — High Frequency Active Aural Research Program — I love this one personally. It has everything you need in the acronym to make it perfect for pairing with exploding head syndrome. Remember the symptoms, loud (H = high frequency) noise (A = aural) like an explosion in the head, happens at seemingly random times to random people mostly focused in north america (A = active), is unexplained and mysterious (R = research) but seemingly directed (P = program) by an outside force. Not only that but look at the cast of characters involved. It is practically a who’s who of black hat boogeymen for the conspiracy minded. This was a project jointly funded by the U.S. Air Force, the U.S. Navy, the University of Alaska Fairbanks, and the Defense Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA). The cherry on top is that the whole thing was designed and built by BAE Advanced Technologies (BAEAT). I mean holy shit it is a wonder this thing didn’t come with its own pre-written X-files episode script.

Then there is the project objective which practically screams “secret military weapons program” — to analyze the ionosphere and investigate the potential for developing ionospheric enhancement technology for radio communications and surveillance. For conspiracy theorists this is a direct translation to analyze the atmosphere and figure out ways to weaponize the weather. How exactly will they do this? Allow me to quote directly from a prominent conspiracy theory web-site.

“By raping the sky with energy rays from large amounts of antennas placed at HAARP’s location in Alaska. These rays of energy could then potentially be reflected back into the Earth’s ionosphere on an extremely low frequency, called ELF waves, which will seriously fuck up your shit. This can change the ELF waves to an extremely dangerous weapon.

The ELF waves are capable of penetrating your own god damn brain. Put your cell phone on vibrate. Now put it to your head. Times this force by at least a million. You have just experienced the potential of HAARP. On top of this, the vibrations could influence brain activity. I.E they could brainwash you. And make you do anythng. See that ugly chick across the bar? Do you want to have sex with her? No? Well you might have to one day. This could not only paralyze you completely, but could cause you to go insane. These waves can also make their way through concrete walls and steel.”

Notice how perfectly this aligns with the symptoms of exploding head syndrome. It is almost too good to be true. Unfortunately for the pervayors of this particular theory the program was shut down in 2014, or so they would have you believe…..

2. Alien abduction disorder — Along with sleep paralysis it is said that EHS is a symptom or side effect of the instrumentation and/or mental attacks used by aliens during the abduction process. The loud bang is a mental reflex triggered in your brain when the alien mind first makes contact and then eventually takes control of your mental processes. In most versions of this the aliens communicate telepathically and use those same telepathic powers to take control of the abductees brain to render them immobile and unconscious for the duration of the abduction. As I am sure most are aware the purpose of these abductions is most often some form of human experimentation. In a disturbingly large majority of cases an anal probe is involved for some reason. Luckily my anus is currently bereft of irritation, soreness, or redness. I did not have the guts to ask my mom about the status of hers. I have not had an EHS event in several weeks now and I have been sleeping much better of late. No doubt the two are related. That said I still worry…….