In an ironic finding of unknown significance researchers today published a paper which established for the first time that a single nucleotide polymorphism/SNP in the gene CREB1 is associated with increased fear of the negative health consequences of single nucleotide polymorphisms in both the CREB1 locus and CREB1 gene. The linkage was found through a statistical analysis of data from the Heritage family study combined with surveys and genetic screening of 500 healthy persons who did not have an abnormal and irrational fears of the negative health consequences of CREB1 associated SNPs and 250 healthy persons who did hold such unusual, irrational, and abnormal fears. The population of CREB1 SNP fearers were not abnormally afraid of SNPs in any other health risk associated gene or locus but only of those associated with CREB1 point mutations. Until today it was not known why such specific fears were so prevalent. By regression analysis the single point mutation in the CREB1 gene accounted for 20% of the variance in fear to SNPs in the CREB1 gene associated with health risks, but only 2.3% of the variance to other SNPs in the CREB1 locus. No linkage was seen to SNPs in any other genes or loci previously associated with health risks. Researcher Dr. Stephen Tribalt said the following at a news conference announcing the result “We were intrigued by the question of the unusually high level of fear of SNPs in the CREB1 gene and gene locus and set out to find the reason why. We had hypothesized that a SNP might be responsible since, as we are learning more each day, SNPs are responsible for virtually all human physical and mental ailments. That said when we discovered that the SNP we were searching for resided in the CREB1 gene itself we were very surprised, and confused, very, very confused. Although it is a surprising and ironic finding the data supporting our conclusion is rock solid. We only needed 15 test adjustments before a statistically significant association was found in the data set. That’s great, right?, right?” At that point Dr Tribalt looked down sadly, sighed, then turned and slowly left the podium.