Read This If You Feel Like Quitting
How to Escape the Drift and Live Free Using Your Words — I am Afraid You Cannot, So Sorry
I know what you feel like now. You feel like throwing in the towel, giving up, and falling on your face. You feel like quitting. You are right to feel that way, you should quit, it is time, you have tried and tried and still continue to fail. It is time to admit the awkward truth, you are a failure.
You’ve worked at this dream for so long, and for what? Nothing that’s what and there is a reason for that. The reason is simple. You are no good at this thing you are trying to do. You have zero talent and even less spunk, grit, and determination.
You’ve published so many pieces, yet no one seems to care. And while you’re sitting there, refreshing the page and waiting for the hit of those green hearts, you think to yourself:
Why am I doing this? What the hell is the point? And you are so right to think those things, in fact you should be thinking them more often. Other appropriate thoughts would be, What is wrong with me? What happened to my life? Should I have stayed in school? and, Why did my wife leave me for Ted, I mean fucking Ted, he is an asshole and not all that good looking either?
Your message has barely gained any traction at all and you’re still stuck in the exact same place you were months ago, maybe even years. And no matter how hard you work or how bad you “want” it, it doesn’t seem to come to you. No matter what you do, the success you crave so bad seems keen on spitting right back in your face and telling you “No.” It should be saying, actually it should be screaming “Fuck No” or “No, for the love of God No” that is how badly success wants to spit in your face, how much it hates you. In fact success hates you almost as badly as you daughter Becky Jo. She curses the day she became your daughter. Why did you have to break up your family? Because you suck that is why.
You might be wondering, is there even a point to going on anymore? Is there even a point to writing if no one is going to read it? And you are correct to wonder because truly there is no point in going on. Not for you at least. You have failed, and failed big time.
The reality is, blogging is hard. Creating new things is hard. And starting a business is hard. Living is hard. It’s all really freakin’ hard, and really there is no point in trying anymore. It is time to recognize you have failed. Just admit it and quit. Stop trying to get that new job, or write the next great American novel or get Suzy Q. McNice Boobs to go out with you. It ain’t gonna happen. Get over it.
If you want to succeed in your life, then, you better strip down some of the thoughts in your mind holding you back. That’s the only way you might have had a chance to create the success in your life you so crave. Unfortunately you have missed that opportunity. The only thing you will be stripping down now is your pants before you go to bed each night, lay your head down on the pillow, and begin to cry like a baby, thinking of all that could have been.
Getting What You Want Is Hard. It’s Not Supposed to Be Easy. That Is Why You Failed. You Have Always Been Bad At Doing Anything Hard. You Could Say If Not For Super Easy Things Like Wiping Your Own Butt Or Blowing Your Nose You Never Would Have Accomplished Anything
For the last two years of my life, I’ve struggled to be a full-time writer. There is a reason I struggled so badly. It is because I fucking suck at it.
Besides the lack of understanding from family and friends, there’s the constant publishing of pieces that fall straight to the ground. It feels like I’m alone in my journey as I splice together words, hoping they’ll resonate with others as I pick up the pieces of my life to share. I mean read the sentence I just wrote, it is total and complete crap. It is garbage, ‘splice together words’, what does that even mean? No writer of any talent or class with an ounce of dignity would think to publish such a thing. It is truly disgusting how bad of a writer I am and yet I continued to delude myself.
The truth is, I want to be a full-time writer so bad. I want it more than the catch of my next breath. And then I write a sentence like that, ‘I want it more than the catch of my next breath’ and I realize it wasn’t meant to be, at least I should have realized that. I simply suck at writing. And it’s been hard to share that dream with others because it looks like more of an obsession to anyone else.
Most of my days, I question whether my message is even worth sharing at all. Will I ever create the impact I want to make? Will I ever spark the change I want? Some days I have clarity and it is obvious to me and anyone with even an ounce of sense that the answer to both questions is no. Of course the fuck not. My message is shit and the only change it might spark is from the nickel hitting the ground that the passerby tosses at my cup as I sit begging for handouts at the corner of 2nd and Lombard.
I constantly question whether I’m on the right path, even though my hunger to succeed is insatiable. Yet I often feel overextended, like I’m clinging for balance in a world that’s constantly changing around me. I feel empty as I scrape peanut butter on cheap bread, have oatmeal 3 times a day, and eat instant noodles as a quick snack just to get by. Then I realize I deserve to be eating this shit because I am a piece of shit and my writing is total shit.
As J.R.R. Tolkien’s Bilbo says in The Lord of the Rings, “I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.” Another example of my terrible judgement. J.R.R. Tolkien? Bilbo quote? In a fluff piece like this? Do you see how badly I suck at this?
But I’ve learned it’s supposed to be this way. Yes it is.
It wouldn’t be a trial if it wasn’t hard. And if getting what we wanted was easy, it wouldn’t be worth anything in the end. How many times can I start a sentence with And in one post? Because I am such a terrible writer it will be many times indeed? Also, because, did you catch that I also started a sentence with because, again. God I suck.
Besides, we wouldn’t be able to achieve what we want if we weren’t a little crazy inside. I am fucking insane.
So keep going. Keep creating. Keep moving forward, yet always be wary of the gap. I used to shop at the gap, I can no longer afford such luxuries.
Are You Stuck in the Gap? Christ Almighty This Piece of Crap Just Keeps Going Doesn’t It?
There’s always a gap. It lies between who we are and who we want to be. Fuck a nut I can’t do this anymore.
It can feel like that gap is always widening so that the further we go, the farther we get away from the prize. This is disheartening, because it can be hard to pursue our dreams when they constantly feel so far out of sight. I really think I need to quit now.
The farther something is away from us, the harder it is to persevere towards it and reclaim it in our lives. I mean how far away are we from the ending. I really can’t go on much longer. Can I?
But you can’t let that stop you. Not now. Not ever. You have to be persistent and keep going; in fact, you owe it to not only yourself but others to move forward and always claim the power your message has over the world around you. Oh my God I truly am delusional. I need to stop before I really crack.
You owe it to yourself to keep going and use the magic you were born with to create. No, God damn it, I can’t do it. Magic? what the fuck are you talking about.
People need to hear your message, and you need to speak it to be heard. Don’t let the gap between where you are now and where you want to be stop you from pursuing your dreams and unlocking your authentic self. I do not have a message and if I did it would be, please kill me, I can’t go on. Need to stop now.
Instead, pursue the work you’re meant to do. Keep going and keep making great art. Ugh.
The only way you will get there is by moving forward. That’s how you’ll close the gap and beckon your success to come.