Thank you for taking the time to respond my comments. It is really amazing when people are willing to engage with others in a forum like this. I am sorry that you felt patronized by comments. I meant no disrespect. Certainly my intent was not to belittle your position or your feelings. The piece to which I was responding did not make me uncomfortable and I make no claim to being one of the “good” guys as you put it. In fact I laughed and smiled as I read your original post. I do not need to google institutional sexism to understand what it is or accept it as an unfortunate fact of modern day life in much of the world. As a straight white man I benefit from that structure everyday. However I cannot accept and will never agree with the broad stereotyping of all or even most men as active and willing participants in perpetuating that structure. I do apologize for the implication that somehow you invite ridicule or attack by being an active voice in online forums such as this. Obviously it is not right or just that something you freely choose to participate in and care about would subject you to enhanced scrutiny based solely on your gender. I only wanted to try and give a voice to and represent the beliefs that I think are held by the vast majority of men. They mostly do not participate in discussions like this. By and large they remain silent. Yes that is unfortunate and things would be better if it were not the case. But I worry when I read, admittedly hilarious, takedowns of some ridiculous thing a man said or did and the words implicate all of us as guilty parties or enablers. The internet world is so skewed toward the opinions of the most vile among us. It is easy to forget that what is said here reflects that skew. Of course I know you will probably read these words and reject them out of hand. You have every right to do so. I can not begin to imagine the vile things you have no doubt been exposed to for having the temerity to publish your opinions in forums like this for all the world to see. The fact that I even had to write that last sentence speaks volumes about the rampant sexism and misogyny many women find when they dare to express a voice online. I have never had to face such things. I speak from a position of privilege. For me discussions like this are easy. Even though it is not easy for you, especially because it is not, I feel the need to remind you that this world is not the world. What is said online does not represent what is true of the world at large. Perhaps I am naive. It is certainly possible. Maybe institutional sexism is supported and enabled by most men. It would be easy to believe this. It feels right. However my experiences and relationships with other men simply don’t support this hypothesis. But it is true I live in a rarefied bubble of a world. All of us do to some extent. Making broad statements and vast claims about the world views of others is fraught with danger. I freely admit this and only ask that you consider it too the next time you publish a piece that casts all men as assholes and lumps them all together as one foul unit.

After all that heavy shit one last thing. Please keep doing what you do and making me laugh. Talented comedic voices like yours are one of the few things that keep me coming back to places like medium. I spend the bulk of my time here bitching and moaning about the things that annoy me or complaining about the latest shitty thing that happened to me. I publish vaguely intellectual seeming philosophical think pieces that 99% of people reject immediately as bullshit. Mostly I am selfish, cocky, and self centered. I write stupid shit and feel validated when my one or two! dedicated readers applaud my latest ridiculous screed. Occasionally however I am truly moved or find myself laughing uncontrollably. Writers like you are responsible.

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Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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