The sarcastic retort is one of my specialties. Check out this classic.
It is With Much Regret That I Must Inform You I Cannot Accept the Position of Your Boyfriend
The Baseline Sexual Compensation Was Simply Too Low and Your New Offer Wholly Inadequate Given My Skill Set and…
You have to read the original post to truly appreciate the humor.
or this oldie but goodie. Unfortunately I did not link the original article but you should be able to find it if you search.