This is What Happens When You Leave Me An Opening

Apartment Property Management Wars: Attack and Counter

I have been in a dispute with the management of my new (the complex is not new, it is 50 years old) apartment since my first weekend as a resident. That very first Saturday I awoke to the sounds of loud banging at my front door at 6am. I ran downstairs to find two firetrucks and three amped up looking firemen standing there telling me that someone had reported smoke coming out of my unit. I had a quick look around and did not see or smell anything unusual, told the firemen it must have been a mistake or a prank, then promptly returned to bed. Not ten minutes later, just as I was drifting back to sleep, I smelled the acrid stench of burning plastic and jumped out of my bed searching frantically for the source. As I approached my bathroom I saw what appeared to be liquid ash or wax streaming to the floor from the ceiling vent fan. Thick black smoke was also billowing upwards. I quickly shut the power to the fan and then to the whole unit by flipping the breakers. I was fine and the only damage was to the fan which was totally destroyed. There were no smoke detectors anywhere in the building and I could easily have died and/or lost everything in the fire that most likely would have resulted had I been asleep at the time.

Since that inauspicious beginning things have only gotten worse. I currently find myself in a dispute over supposed rent money owed that I had deducted for maintenance work, paid for out of my own pocket. And the list of grievances could go on and on. In any case we are officially at war. In this battle I am totally and completely outgunned. They are a megachain apartment management company with properties across the US and globally. They have scads of lawyers at their disposal and pockets so deep they make the Atlantic Ocean look like a kiddie pool. I have only my wits and an ironclad belief in the rightness of my position. I have been taking every opportunity to strike back, and recently received a letter (shown below) which left an opening a mile wide and gave me the perfect opportunity for a counter attack.

The original letter from property management last week. Look closely. Do you see anything unusual? Look again. I see an opening.

Below is the response letter I provided to management.

How you like them apples fucktards. lol!

Written by

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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