I am not going to mince words, fish are gross. By fish I mean any non-microbial (and some microbial) living thing that comes from the water, salt or fresh that humans currently or have ever eaten. My great aversion to fish began in six grade health class when I first learned that a symptom of many venereal diseases was a “fishy odor.” I don’t know about you but I for one have no desire to eat anything that has any association with venereal disease. Which brings me to the topic of crabs. Another venereal disease and seafood “delicacy’ that some human beings believe is fit for consumption and others curse as their worst one night stand ever. Contrary to popular opinion lobsters are not actually (genetically) all that closely related to cockroaches. However, like all invertebrates they share a common ancestor, they also share one other trait, they are gross. Shrimp are also extremely gross, seaweed is disgusting and gross, and the less said about crayfish the better, particularly if what is said is with their even less appealing redneck nickname crawfish or crawdads. Yuck. Ewww. Nasty. Ugh. I hate fish. You might think that given my hatred of fish I would be happy to sea them dead or dying. You would be wrong, as the only thing worse than the smell of a living fish is how they smell when they are dead. I think I am going to be sick now. Damn fish.