Winter Vest Wearing Man Found Dead of Frostbite

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A similar man who is quite proud of his own vest

A man wearing a winter vest was found dead of frostbite this morning near the sleepy town of Chenowith Hills, OH. Paramedics who responded to the seen reported that the man’s arms had frozen solid, completely cutting of normal circulation. “Perhaps not surprisingly for a winter vest wearing individual, the man’s back, chest, and stomach remained warm the entire time, but unfortunately it simply was not enough to stave off the bitter cold that ultimately killed him” said paramedic Tom Stevens, the first to arrive at the scene. Mr. Stevens continued “Let this serve as a warning to others who might consider a winter vest warm enough to protect you during the winter. That is simply not the case, and it is all too easy to be lulled into a false sense of security by the warmth you feel in your mid upper body. Never forget that with a winter vest on your arms are completely exposed to the elements.” After a brief pause Mr. Stevens concluded “Now that I think about the entire idea of a winter vest really doesn’t make a lot of sense does it?” The man’s family has said that he and his vest will be cremated next Tuesday and Chenowith Hills Funeral Home on East Main St. near the Dairy Queen.

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Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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