Your claim to have used the best English grammar and well-polished sentences is somewhat undercut when you say “….but even them never read them after publication.” This is neither ‘the best’ English grammar, nor is it well polished. Arguably it is what one might consider the worst English grammar because it is in fact, incorrect. Make it “even they never read them…” Moreover, to be frank, it sounds like something a sixth grade girl would write in her diary, and therefore I would classify it as polished like a turd rather then well polished. I will give you a pass on the omission of the oxford comma before “and enemies” since that is a somewhat debatable punctuation requirement. I do not doubt that your hypothesis concerning why people did not read your writing was partially correct. Many people do not like to read positive stories. As an example this story should be well received as it could be construed as very negative with respect to your writing abilities. In truth it should be viewed that way because it is. Basically I am saying you blow as a writer. Not that you literally blow, but figuratively speaking you suck, and suck hard. Writing is probably not the best career choice for you and I say that with the utmost care and concern and sincerity. If it makes you feel any better 99% of people suck at writing, including me, but luckily I do not give a fuck. This is perhaps the best writing advice I can give. Do not give a fuck about what people think. Of course this approach to writing and to life in general does not typically lead to success or happiness, but guess what? if you truly embrace the philosophy of not giving a fuck, you don’t give a fuck about that either. Yep, it’s really great. Fuckin sweet. So next time you sit down and contemplate writing a story for boys and girls age 18 to 22 you can finish your “research” in seconds by answering the list of questions you suggest all the same way “I don’t give a fuck.” Then just start typing away and next thing you know instead of them people never reading them articles, them people are gonna be reading them constantly. Them will not be able to get enough of them. And if they don’t? Fuck them. Am I right?

Author’s postscript

Dear Medium Editorial Staff,

Please do not ban this article. It is satirical. It is not an attack against the author of the original post. I do not really think he is a terrible writer, though he may well be. I do not have enough information to render such a judgement at this time. In contrast I freely admit that I am a terrible writer and the evidence is widely available on this very website.

Research scientist (Ph.D. micro/mol biology), Thought middle manager, Everyday junglist, Selecta (Ret.), Boulderer, Cat lover, Fish hater

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